The Semester hasn’t begun yet, but I’m plugging away at the work load, because they offered it to me early, so I figure why not? I mean I’m actually blessed with the time to work on things now more than I will be in the months to come, and I feel like it would be irresponsible not to take advantage of it.
I’m so excited for this journey, and I guess that is the other part of the puzzle here. Today I sat beside a woman laying on the couch at my preceptor’s office, and I felt her belly, using the Leopald’s maneuvers that Jenn has taught me, and that I have read about in articles and in my school work, and I felt natural. I felt as if this is just where I’m meant to be. I felt like God was building in me a new thing.
Similar to when I was pregnant with one of my children, I knew that a baby was there, but I didn’t know them, I didn’t know that my second one would have a peanut allergy, I didn’t know my third one would run instead of walk when he was only just learning to support his little body… I know that midwifery school will result in midwifery practice, midwifery licensing, and midwifery clients. But do I know the personality of the care I’m going to give? Do I know the personality of the business I’m going to build? There are so many factors that are unknown about our children, our dreams, our goals. So many facets we just don’t know about until we start doing them.
The other day someone mentioned The Dominican Republic of Congo to me, and I had this heaviness in my heart like one day I might be a medical missionary there….
Another day I think about the dying church just a few houses down the road from me, and how it would be cool if I could make an office out of it, or at least part of it (this isn’t a dream so much as a random thought).
One day I bring this amazing painting I bought to Jenn’s office and not only is she ok with me decorating her office but she was excited about it… and I think… I have something here. I have a friend, a preceptor, and a valued relationship here… not that I needed a painting/interaction like this with her, to tell me that I did… it is just amazing to have these little moments where you just know you are in the right place.
I’m going to be a midwife! I’m going to be a MIDWIFE! I AM GOING TO BE A MIDWIFE!
I couldn’t possibly express any more deeply how awesome it feels to know that I’m doing this. That I’m not just doing it but that sitting over my shoulder is this amazing preceptor who not only teaches me the skills I’m going to need, but also praises me when I’m doing it right.
Blessed doesn’t even begin to describe how it feels to know that I’m in the right place right now. God is providing all the right things, and I’m working my goals, teaching my kids from 9am-12pm, cooking meals for them, cleaning my home, doing appointments and births, tucking in my littles (when I’m home), reading to my big kids, and saying night time prayers, and then heading to the basement to work on my own homework from 9pm to midnight or 1 am, and then repeating it all the next day…. And I’m only glimpsing my second semester, but I feel like I’m right at home.. not just physically (because technically unless I’m at a birth or an appointment I am at home)… but I’m in this perfect place that God created me to be, and he is providing me with everything needed to accomplish it.
I pray your birth feels that way… like you are right where you need to be, and perfectly supported, uplifted, never alone, and always in the moment, owning the moment.
Have a Cherished Birth!