I’ve read so many birth stories, I LOVE them, but I shy away from telling my own, especially on this website, I have mentioned the specifics a few times here and there but do not share the whole story often, and when I do I usually like to do so in person so that I don’t frighten people, however I recently read a birth related post on facebook and a pregnant woman reminded everyone to ‘please not scare the new mom’s’… this has really got me thinking. About two things really first off the topic was on natural induction, and second about scaring new moms.
I do NOT want to scare new mom’s but the fact is some births are scary, some are horrific, and mom’s who experience these births are twice as likely to want to talk about it, and then among the birthing community often shunned for sharing. I had a horrific experience with my second child’s birth, I’ll tell you all about it, but I’ll also tell you the wonderful things I’ve gleaned from it in just a second, but first please know that a horrific birth experience NEEDS to be shared… maybe not so much with mother’s expecting their first baby, but with women in general. The reason I say this is that when we hear only happy birth stories and ours is not happy we are left disillusioned and unsure of why this has happened to us. And in the opposite case where a mother hears only horrific experiences regarding birth she learns to fear it, and that does not lead to a relaxed atmosphere in which to birth your child, and could possibly lead to many interventions which will possibly change the perception of her birth, whether good or bad. The only logical answer to this problem in my mind is that ALL births need to be shared, with an emphasis on the fact that each woman will birth differently and that each birth story will have it’s own ups and downs and a lot of how you feel about your story has to do with your expectations of it.
So… I’m going to share the good , the bad and the ugly, and then I’m going to share how I got here (becoming a doula)