Most of the time birth is an astounding, breath-taking, joyful experience, but occasionally it isn’t. No one wants to think that their birth plan wont be followed, acknowledged or even read. And certainly no one wants to think of the possibility of their baby dying before or during birth, both of these situations do sometimes happen, though the second one is not very likely. However in the event that either situation does happen to you, you should know that you don’t have to feel bad about grieving over a lost birth plan, and that there is a way to work through the grief of either the lost birth plan, or the baby who didn’t get to come home with you.
There is a wonderful group called Mothering Ourselves, that has resources and workshops to help those who have had these and other experiences. Check out their website http://www.motheringourselves.com/HealingBirthMemoriesDesc.aspx
And know that even though it isn’t ok now…. it will be. Like all other things in life this experience can be one to build you up, and show you how to make it through, not unaffected, but stronger, more powerful, more compassionate for others, and ready to face the world again.